5 Signs Your Child Might Be Struggling With Their Wellbeing (and What to Do Next)
As a parent, you know your child better than anyone. So when something feels “off”, it’s usually worth paying attention. The tricky part is that children rarely say, “I’m feeling anxious” or “I’m finding things hard at the moment.” Instead, their feelings tend to show up in their behaviour, their body and their everyday routines.
Every child has off days, and one grumpy morning isn’t a cause for concern. What you’re looking for is a change that sticks around for a couple of weeks or more, or a pattern that keeps coming back. Here are five signs worth noticing, and what you can do next.
1. Changes in Mood or Behaviour
Has your usually easy-going child become snappy, tearful or quick to lose their temper? Or perhaps your lively, chatty one has gone quiet?
Big emotional outbursts over small things (the “wrong” colour cup, a sock that feels funny) can be a sign that your child’s emotional bucket is already full. When they’re carrying worries you can’t see, it doesn’t take much to tip them over.
2. Withdrawing From Things They Usually Enjoy
If your child suddenly doesn’t want to go to football, stops asking to see friends or loses interest in a hobby they used to love, it’s worth gently exploring why.
Sometimes there’s a simple explanation. They’ve grown out of it, or there’s been a fallout with a friend. But pulling away from the people and activities that usually light them up can also be a sign they’re feeling low or worried.
3. Trouble Sleeping
Sleep is often one of the first things to change when a child is struggling. You might notice:
- Taking much longer to settle at bedtime
- Waking in the night or having bad dreams
- Wanting to sleep in your bed when they didn’t before
- Seeming tired all the time, even after a full night
Bedtime is when the house goes quiet and there’s nothing to distract them, so worries often come out to play just as the lights go off.
4. Tummy Aches, Headaches and “I Don’t Want to Go to School”
Children often feel their emotions in their bodies long before they can put them into words. Regular tummy aches, headaches or feeling sick, especially on school mornings or before a particular activity, can be a sign of anxiety.
It’s always sensible to rule out anything physical with your GP first. But if the aches seem to come and go with certain situations, it may be their feelings talking.
5. Negative Self-Talk
Listen out for how your child talks about themselves. Phrases like “I’m rubbish at everything”, “nobody likes me” or “I can’t do it” can show that their confidence has taken a knock.
We all have moments of self-doubt, but if this kind of language becomes a habit, it can start to shape how your child sees themselves.
What to Do Next
If some of these signs sound familiar, try not to panic. Noticing is the first and most important step, and there’s plenty you can do to help.
Watch for Patterns
Keep a quick note on your phone of when the difficult moments happen. Is it Sunday evenings? After PE? Before swimming? Patterns can give you useful clues about what’s behind the change.
Talk Side by Side, Not Face to Face
Children often find it easier to open up when they’re not being looked at directly. Try chatting in the car, on a walk, while drawing together or while baking. Keep questions open and light, like “What was the best and trickiest bit of your day?”, rather than “What’s wrong?”
Name the Feeling
Help your child find the words for what they’re feeling. “It sounds like you felt really left out today” shows them their feelings are normal and manageable. Once a feeling has a name, it becomes much less scary.
Keep Things Playful
You don’t need a big sit-down chat. Games, stories and creative activities are brilliant ways for children to explore feelings safely. It’s exactly why play is at the heart of everything I do at Positive Pants.
Look After Yourself Too
Supporting a struggling child can be exhausting and worrying. Your own wellbeing matters, and children pick up on how we’re feeling. Taking a few minutes for yourself isn’t selfish. It helps you show up for them.
Know When to Get Extra Help
If things aren’t improving, or you’re worried, speak to your child’s school (their class teacher or SENCo) and your GP, who can refer to specialist services if needed. If you’re ever concerned about your child’s immediate safety, call NHS 111, or 999 in an emergency. Older children can also contact Childline for free on 0800 1111.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Every child has wobbly patches, and with the right support, they can build the tools to bounce back feeling calmer and more confident. Sometimes it just helps to have someone alongside you both.
If you’d like some extra support, my 1-1 wellbeing sessions give your child a safe, fun space to explore their feelings, and give you practical ideas to carry on at home.
Get in touch today for a friendly, no-pressure chat about how I can help.
